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it has been over a month since i posted about my sisters breast cancer.

I am so thankful that i was able to be there the night before her surgery and the day of the surgery. 

seeing her the night before and enjoying a yummy shrimp boil and then seeing her after surgery was really good. wrapping my head around it all via phone calls and texts was really difficult. it was good to see her and hug her and know that she was okay and they she would make it through this and did.

she is over two weeks out from the surgery and since then we have found out that she now needs chemo as well.

and not just any chemo but the awful kind. she told me it is called the "red devil"

my heart just broke all over for her and the circumstances of it all.

my best friend sent me a text the day or the day after that i found out asking how my sis was doing?

I was a mess trying to hold it all together and looking into the info she sent me about the chemo and decided to tell her, since she asked.

after texting back and forth she asked me how i was doing?

this was my response:

sad

mad

heart broken

wishing i could be there

do more

feeling guilty

fearful

selfish

there are way too many emotions going through me right now

sometimes its easier to just not think at all

its been a rough week here but i'm sure not nearly as rough as hers

so i can't complain

i just really hate this for her

the emotions are still heavy all around, even when we think things start to settle with them all. i am thankful that my mom is able to be there with her and help with her boys while her hubby has been helping her.
 Here is her post about the next step in this journey:
 

Medical update for anyone who’s following me on this journey. I’m 2 weeks post op & have met with all 3 doctors. As of now my margins are clear & they got it all out! My surgeon & oncologist ordered 2 different tests, oncotype which tests 12 genes & mammaprint which tests 70 genes. My oncotype came back low risk & after surgery we were under the impression that I would not have to go thru chemo. Then the mammaprint came back as high risk, so chemo will help with the risk of return.
I’m having a port placed on 11-8 and then chemo will probably start 11-12. The regiment I will be on is AC-T. AC is a combination of 2 drugs called Adriamycin & Cyclophosphamide (aka the red devil) & T is Taxol. There will be 4 rounds of AC, once every 2 weeks & Taxol which will be once a week for 12 weeks. It will be a long 20 weeks but nothing I can’t handle.
Thank you all for the continued prayers. Thanks Jennifer for my cute mug. #lesleys_breasties #cupofcourage #shebelievedshecouldsoshedid #spiritleadmewheremytrustiswithoutborders

Walking out of the fog

 it's been two weeks since my sister's biopsy results came back and that the diagnosis was a double mastectomy. i believe i walked through a haze for a few days. my hubby was the only one i told.

she texted me wondering how to string words together in a post on Facebook to let others know. she was having multiple people ask the biopsy results.

her words are beautiful and painful and raw. here is what she said about the beginning part of her journey:

Mammogram, Biopsy, Carcinoma, Mastectomy

These are words I never thought I would hear spoken to me from a doctor- especially not at age 35. The last few weeks have been a whirlwind full of appointments, tests, hospital gowns, needles, ice packs, questions, prayers and lots of tears.

This is a brief run down of what’s going on-

August 17: Went for my annual checkup & found a lump in my left breast. A mammogram & ultrasound were scheduled.

August 22: Several nodules were then found.

August 27: Went for a consult with a surgeon. She did another ultrasound to confirm the spots and scheduled a biopsy.

August 29: Biopsy was done

September 4: Got a call with results. She said the preliminary diagnosis is mammary carcinoma, mixed ductal & lobular carcinoma. It’s intermediate & wanted me to have an MRI done that day. I went that afternoon for the MRI which scanned from neck to belly to see if there were any other questionable areas.

September 5: Met with surgeon & was told that estrogen and progesterone receptors were positive. It is currently ductal & the MRI did show a cyst in right breast also. We are still waiting for the rest of biopsy results to come back for HER2 results. We are praying it will be negative!

So after hearing all of this- what now? We discussed several treatment different options but surgery is a must. The plan is for a double mastectomy. Hearing those words makes me cringe but it has to be done. I meet with oncology and plastic surgery next week and will update when I can.

I hope this answers many questions.

Thank you for all for the love, support, texts, calls and prayers. #prayersforHER2- #maybepinkismycolor #fightlikeagirl #lesleys_breasties

Her strength shines through her words. I have always been blessed to call her my sister. I ache for what she feels. I told my best friend that i felt like it was all a bad dream and it wasn't even mine. I have cried more tears then makeup can cover, which means that she has cried even more. I will stand beside her in any way I can and ask that you stand with us in prayer during this time.