Thursday, April 07, 2011
Inadequate
the only word that i can describe for how i am feeling today. i am so blessed in this life, more that i can ever imagine but feeling like there is something missing. i love my family and i love that i get to stay at home with my kids. while i loved the job that i had before i became a stay at home mom i was never so career oriented that i needed to work to find fulfillment or satisfaction. but now being a stay at home mom i feel like i have no goals or things that i am passionate about. my days sometimes feel mundane and pointless. don't get me wrong i love my kids and delight in their joy and have fun with them. but after the plethora of appointments and things that have to get done i wonder if there was any use or point to my day. especially when i look around and see tons of things that have found there resting place on my table, how have i not found the time to pick it up or the places to put it. i'm just feeling disconnected from everything. i want to raise my children to be happy and to love the Lord but wonder if i am doing all that good of a job doing it. i am terrible with words, thought and putting things down but felt that i needed to type even if none of it is coherent or makes sense. i'm sure tomorrow will be different but this is today and what i am dealing with, feeling inadequate.
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There are many, many days where I feel like this.
ReplyDeleteI have a friend who is raising seven kids (the youngest is now 11), who tells me this verse:
"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." Gal. 6:9
(hugs) Know that you are not alone.
I think every mom has felt this many times. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteI love that you were honest enough to say these things out loud. Most of us don't have the guts to acknowledge that there could be truth to any of it. Motherhood (even staying at home) doesn't mean you have to lose yourself as a person. Figure out what energizes you personally and make that a priority in your week ... you'll be a better mom for it in the short-term and preparing yourself for when they become adults too. Struggle through this ... don't overlook it. Love ya.
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