Monday, August 14, 2017

Hands Free

It all started when a friend posted the simple question on Facebook of "What is your favorite Bible verse?"
The chasing started......the being sought out.... and then is came in and in and in. from different places and in different forms........

for weeks now i have felt stuck in a rut, frustrated, unsettled, discouraged.

everywhere i turned though, He was there, He is showing me He loves me, that i need to let go, that i need to continue to forgive. He shows up in random posts from random places on social media. He shows up in an elementary fiction novel. He shows up in a nonfiction book i read. He shows up in a Facebook live video i watched about family, He shows up in a Sunday morning sermon. 

this is what it looks like......
"And if not He is still good."
From the story in Daniel about his three friends telling King Nebuchadnezzar, that even if God DOES NOT save them from the fiery furnace (even though they believe that He CAN) that He is still GOOD.

that one right there popped up multiple times.

"If someone knows who he is, really knows, then he doesn't have to hate."
"Love. That's what makes persons know who they are. You're full of love, Meg, but you don't know how to stay within it when it's not easy."   

Then there is......"There are so many beautiful things to see, but when we spend too much time fixating on what other people want us to see, we miss them all."

"We must be surrender the desire to please surrender to the hope of being liked and accepted by surrender  the fear of making mistakes. we must be ready to release our words, choices, dreams-into the atmosphere knowing we cannot control other peoples reactions to them." 

I need to focus on the beautiful details right in front of me, instead of fixating on that which i cannot control.

Facebook live video......
"in humility count others more important than yourselves......" Philippians 2
Gary Morland posted the video here.

Then at church yesterday......sermon here (sermon starts at 29:20)
guess what he preached on.................

Philippians 2
see the chasing......

here are just a couple of things that i made note of in the sermon:
Our toxic mentality can then be lived out with one another, if we do not have the mind of Christ.
When you value people you show them that they have the priority.
What value does Jesus place on this person?
Making yourself low so you can lift others up.
Am i wanting something from this person or for them!
How are you going to treat people who you have power and influence over?
What is your identity wrapped up in?
Are you willing to serve even when it hurts?

Every night i have been praying to Love like He loves, to see people like He does. to get rid of any bitterness in my head and heart. He is drawing me near to Himself, stretching me and continuing to reach me. Wherever i am.

Wednesday, August 09, 2017

I just finished reading the book Uninvited by Lysa TerKeurst
it took me over 7 weeks to read it all (i guess that is where the struggle is coming in trying to complete 52 books in 2017)

but i had too.
i just had to take that long and honestly it probably could have taken me longer. and technically i am not even done.

my sweet friend, who i often refer to as my sister in law, brought it to me to read, after just receiving the copy as a birthday gift, because she knew how much i was wanting to read this book.

i could have taken a picture of multiple pages in this book it has been so very good.

i mean this one right here:
"Relationships don't come in packages of perfection; relationships come in packages of potential. They have the potential to be hard at times. No matter what, it takes work to make it work. And wrapped in between the wonderful and the work are inevitable times of imperfection and possible rejection."

it goes on to say more that i just oozing with goodness.

see how this book could have taken me way longer.

how about this one:

i mean seriously.......her words are powerful and raw and honest.
on the page before this quote she wrote this: "If we are to escape the natural bitterness of the human heart, we have to go through a long process as well......the process of being cured."

this whole section was about about the olive tree and it may have been one of my favorite of the whole book, it is right at the end.

so i said that i am done with the book, but truthfully i still have about 18 pages left to go.
there is a bonus chapter that starts with a short letter from Lysa. this is what one of the last sentences says: "So if you're feeling brave, let's intentionally open our hearts. Ash the Lord to show us what He wants to speak to us. And then turn the page together."

This turning of the page, this being brave.....i am going to do it but i hesitate wanting to know if the pages that follow will show me, enlighten me, help me. This next chapter "What's it like to do life with me?", in Lysa's words is like this: "I've got blind spots. And the people who live in close proximity to me are probably more aware of them then i am."  no truer words.

These words are HARD, Lord show me my blind spots, show me were i can do better, be better, love better.

so here goes........i may or may not share how it goes.

regardless, you ALL should read this book.

Monday, August 07, 2017

First Day

It seems like just last year Golden boy was entering 2nd grade and not Little girl is going into 2nd grade

Golden boy into 4th grade

the years are flying by.
I am so lucky to be their mom.
Praying 2017-2018 is a fantastic year.

First day 2016
First day 2015
First and last days 2015-2016
First day 2014

Thursday, August 03, 2017


my mom took this picture of Golden Boy the week the she and my dad kept him.
as a baby and into a toddler he was such an active busy guy. aside from the fact that he looked just like my hubby, he seemed to have his personality as well. 
the past few years we have been reconsidering our thoughts on who he is more like. 
a quietness has seemed to embrace him. he seems to think more and enjoy more quiet times.
not that he still isn't a bundle of loud boy but i love these slow quite times with him.

i started to think about it when he crawled into the wagon in our back yard and just sat there.
i glanced out and saw him. i wondered what he was thinking about? what thoughts he was processing? where his brain was?
he glanced over at me though the widow and smiled, i smiled back and waved.

i wish i would have grabbed my camera to get a picture of him but it was so brief, just a quick moment and i am go glad that i at least to to glimpse it.

then there is this tiny one.
she is activity, creativity, busy, thoughtful, smart, daring and at time i see that contemplatives coming out in her too.

she was moving a lot here. the first three pictures that i took of her were blurry but then she stopped, she paused, she thought and i snapped it.
it was perfect.

Monday, July 24, 2017

Fishing.......enjoying slow

This boy is pure awesome-ness.
Last summer he missed his week with Honey and Bear and i think we were all sad about it.
This year we were certain to make a point of having him have a week at the Lake House.
It is one of his favorite places.
I love that he is getting this one on one time with my parents and that he has such a love for fishing.

when we left the lake yesterday he was out there fishing. we didn't think we would be able to get him in the house to say bye to him. we went out to hug and say bye to him and then let him go back to fishing.
my mom texted me last night and said that he didn't even want to come in for dinner, he wanted to eat on the dock and keep fishing.

this morning i got these pictures from her and she said here he goes.......

and he's off.......

i told her that i really think that he needed this.
he needed the down time to be able to relax and think and be still and quiet and just to enjoy the slowness of life. i am thankful for my parents and the time that they are getting spend with him. i know they will all be blessed by their time together and i am praying that Golden boy get the much needed rest for his body and soul before the craziness of school and schedules start.

Wednesday, July 19, 2017

Day 15....of our BIG trip (the long drive home)

so far the longest we had ever driven in a day was a little over 6 hours. 
this day it was FOR-E.V.E.R
oh my goodness. there was one point that my hubby looked over at me and said.....we would just about be in Disney World now, as long as we have driven.

we were all tired and ready to be home and after thinking through all the options, it was just better to drive the whole day and get home instead of stopping half way.

we did make a lot of stops but it was quick ones, reminded the kids that if we kept pushing on we would get home tonight and be able to sleep in our own beds and wake up in our house and play with our toys.

it kept them going but we were all spent by the time we walked through the doors. tears and exhaustion and we crashed hard.

i posted this  the night we got home.
there was a moment, driving through our state that was just dreamy.
the light 
the colors
the mist
it was dreamy and perfect
a little welcome home after so many days of being gone.

here it is all packed up
loads and loads of dirty laundry even thought i did laundry one day on the trip.

Tuesday, July 18, 2017

Day 14.......of our BIG trip

The place we stayed was an efficiency 
So we had a small kitchen
After eating out so much it was nice to get eggs and cinnamon rolls from the grocery store and cook instead.

That is what we did for breakfast.

After breakfast we packed to to go play in the pool and at the beach.

By my side most of the time.
I love my little side kick. I sometimes forget how much I am being watched.

Looking for shells again 

Floating in the lazy river

My little side kick again. She was helping me making spaghetti 

After lunch we took the kids to this obctical water course.

The loved it. Their version of a ninja worrier course

For lunch we went to a fish house called the flyin fish.  We ordered sword fish and tile fish.  There is Golden boy trying the sword fish and liking it.

A sunset walk on the beach rounded up the trip and the day.

Tomorrow we head home.

Steps 3,230

Monday, July 17, 2017

Day 13......of our BIG trip

We left Williamsburg and took our longest drive of the trip to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, where ten toes touched the Atlantic for the very first time.

Girl did handstands and cartwheels on the beach

Bou looked for seashells

And we watched beach grass sway in the wind.

Steps 6,658

Sunday, July 16, 2017

Day 12.....of our BIG trip

Busch Gardens

our gondola awaits

a ride in the sky, across the park. it was way to hot to walk
we had a great view of the park and apparently Golden boy was checking out the coasters we passed

this was little girls favorite ride. she rode it three times

steps 9,924

Saturday, July 15, 2017

The BIG 10!

TEN years ago today you took your first breath. it was a difficult one, one that would keep you on a ventilator for week but it was our first breath.
and when I looked at you for the first time, you took my breath away.

I am so thankful that God chose me to be your mommy.

you are wild and strong and funny and passionate and more type A than I would have ever imagined, you are creative and stubborn and so very full of adventure.

I love everything about you.

Happy Birthday Sweet boy.

Day 11.....of our BIG trip (after lunch)

The second part of our Williamsburg trip.

A quaint little street

Tools in the book makers shop

Letter press board at the printing press

Book in the post office gift shop.
Um, yes please. Blind date with a book. Sounds interesting.

We found our way into the cooks place and he mentioned that anyone who was 21 or under at the time would be working for him. He sent all who were 21 and under around back to the wood pile to grab three pieces of wood each.

The blacksmith

At the Capitol

The Wythe House probably one of our favorites (aside from the capitol)

And carpenter was the kids favorite and probably mine too. It smelled so good in there.

And inside the house there was an area to create your own garden. Little Girl got busy creating.

Once we left Williamsburg we took the kids swimming and then headed to Busch gardens for dinner and the evening. 

This was in one of the bathrooms. She said, mommy I need to show you how to use these sinks. The water came out of the tube coming at you and the you run your hands under the side bars to dry them.

The boys riding the locheness monster ride 

Steps 21,502