Prayer

If anyone knows us or has been at a meal with us 7 or 8 years ago, you know how difficult prayer time was for that meal. It usually involved our oldest melting down in a fit because it was time to pray.

Needless to say, this, very much embarrassed me. Probably even my hubby too. He however recovered from it a whole lot quicker and easier than i did.

I begin with this small story because today I may have finally understood how my son feels about spoken outloud prayer.

I've never been crazy about praying out loud. I pray, sure, but I avoid outloud prayer as much as possible.  Today I was invited to a prayer time for our kids school. I'm not sure what I thought would happen once there, but I agreed to go.

If it had been a week or two ago I would say that there was a 100% chance that I would be emotional at said prayer meeting, today though......i was golden. Not feeling overly emotional, things ok.

I think I may get that tiny 2 and 3 and sometimes 4 year old boy that would burst out in fits and tears over prayers. I was there today.  Couldn't control it.  Don't know where it came from.

 I just couldn't hold back the tears. And maybe there is just something tender and emotional about talking to our maker, our creator, the one who loves us more than we could ever know.  I'm not sure this will get any easier.  I'm sure the next time we meet there will be tears, even though i wish it wasn't so. But I do know, That even though it's taken 6, maybe 7 or 8 years, I finally get maybe a smidge of what my sweet boy felt.

Or I at least hope.