Tornado

Art by Mandy England
Tonight my deep thinking daughter had a lot of questions. Questions about hurricanes and our plans and if we are safe and where we would go.
She has lived through numerous tornado experiances that she vaguely remembers.....the worst in our area, when she was not even a year old.
Answering her questions were hard when she wants 100%s
We have a 99% certainty that no hurricanes are coming our way but there is always that chance it could happen. She wanted to know where we would go? I assured her that we were in the business of keeping her safe and that God was too. We prayed for peace for her head and heart and that God would remind her that no matter What, He is holding her in His hands.  Praying for Houston and surrounding areas tonight. #littlegirlandy

Prayer

If anyone knows us or has been at a meal with us 7 or 8 years ago, you know how difficult prayer time was for that meal. It usually involved our oldest melting down in a fit because it was time to pray.

Needless to say, this, very much embarrassed me. Probably even my hubby too. He however recovered from it a whole lot quicker and easier than i did.

I begin with this small story because today I may have finally understood how my son feels about spoken outloud prayer.

I've never been crazy about praying out loud. I pray, sure, but I avoid outloud prayer as much as possible.  Today I was invited to a prayer time for our kids school. I'm not sure what I thought would happen once there, but I agreed to go.

If it had been a week or two ago I would say that there was a 100% chance that I would be emotional at said prayer meeting, today though......i was golden. Not feeling overly emotional, things ok.

I think I may get that tiny 2 and 3 and sometimes 4 year old boy that would burst out in fits and tears over prayers. I was there today.  Couldn't control it.  Don't know where it came from.

 I just couldn't hold back the tears. And maybe there is just something tender and emotional about talking to our maker, our creator, the one who loves us more than we could ever know.  I'm not sure this will get any easier.  I'm sure the next time we meet there will be tears, even though i wish it wasn't so. But I do know, That even though it's taken 6, maybe 7 or 8 years, I finally get maybe a smidge of what my sweet boy felt.

Or I at least hope.

Love

 Ever witness that beautiful act of love?
I have been blessed to witness it twice fairly recently.  One was last night.

She kicked her shoes off and waded into the water to capture a lovely momma with baby in womb. It wasn't too much later that, that momma had her shoes on to protect her hurting feet from the painful rocks.

I love getting a glimpse of love on action.

Total Eclipse....or 97%

We were set

eclipse detail page, glasses, friends, food and oreos

we didn't camp out and watch the whole thing but we frequently made out way outside to see the progress

view through the glasses, clouds kind of got in the way too

later on that evening she was filling out her eclipse details and wanted to water color paint it instead of coloring it.

"The heavens declare the glory of the Lord. The skies proclaim the work of His hands." Psalm 19:1

Hands Free

It all started when a friend posted the simple question on Facebook of "What is your favorite Bible verse?"

The chasing started......the being sought out.... and then is came in and in and in. from different places and in different forms........

for weeks now i have felt stuck in a rut, frustrated, unsettled, discouraged.

everywhere i turned though, He was there, He is showing me He loves me, that i need to let go, that i need to continue to forgive. He shows up in random posts from random places on social media. He shows up in an elementary fiction novel. He shows up in a nonfiction book i read. He shows up in a Facebook live video i watched about family, He shows up in a Sunday morning sermon. 

this is what it looks like......

"And if not He is still good."

From the story in Daniel about his three friends telling King Nebuchadnezzar, that even if God DOES NOT save them from the fiery furnace (even though they believe that He CAN) that He is still GOOD.

that one right there popped up multiple times.

then there is the book "A Wind in the Door" by Madeline L'Engel

"If someone knows who he is, really knows, then he doesn't have to hate."

and

"Love. That's what makes persons know who they are. You're full of love, Meg, but you don't know how to stay within it when it's not easy."   

Then there is......"There are so many beautiful things to see, but when we spend too much time fixating on what other people want us to see, we miss them all."

"We must be ready....to surrender the desire to please everyone.....to surrender to the hope of being liked and accepted by everyone.....to surrender  the fear of making mistakes. we must be ready to release our words, choices, dreams-into the atmosphere knowing we cannot control other peoples reactions to them." 

I need to focus on the beautiful details right in front of me, instead of fixating on that which i cannot control.

Quotes from the book "Hands Fee Life" by Rachel Macy Stafford

Facebook live video......

"in humility count others more important than yourselves......" Philippians 2

Gary Morland posted the video here.

Then at church yesterday......sermon here (sermon starts at 29:20)
guess what he preached on.................




Philippians 2
yep
see the chasing......

here are just a couple of things that i made note of in the sermon:

Our toxic mentality can then be lived out with one another, if we do not have the mind of Christ.
When you value people you show them that they have the priority.
What value does Jesus place on this person?
Making yourself low so you can lift others up.
Am i wanting something from this person or for them!
How are you going to treat people who you have power and influence over?
What is your identity wrapped up in?
Are you willing to serve even when it hurts?

Every night i have been praying to Love like He loves, to see people like He does. to get rid of any bitterness in my head and heart. He is drawing me near to Himself, stretching me and continuing to reach me. Wherever i am.

I just finished reading the book Uninvited by Lysa TerKeurst

it took me over 7 weeks to read it all (i guess that is where the struggle is coming in trying to complete 52 books in 2017)

but i had too.

i just had to take that long and honestly it probably could have taken me longer. and technically i am not even done.

my sweet friend, who i often refer to as my sister in law, brought it to me to read, after just receiving the copy as a birthday gift, because she knew how much i was wanting to read this book.

i could have taken a picture of multiple pages in this book it has been so very good.

i mean this one right here:

"Relationships don't come in packages of perfection; relationships come in packages of potential. They have the potential to be hard at times. No matter what, it takes work to make it work. And wrapped in between the wonderful and the work are inevitable times of imperfection and possible rejection."

it goes on to say more that i just oozing with goodness.

see how this book could have taken me way longer.

how about this one:

i mean seriously.......her words are powerful and raw and honest.

on the page before this quote she wrote this: "If we are to escape the natural bitterness of the human heart, we have to go through a long process as well......the process of being cured."

this whole section was about about the olive tree and it may have been one of my favorite of the whole book, it is right at the end.

so i said that i am done with the book, but truthfully i still have about 18 pages left to go.

there is a bonus chapter that starts with a short letter from Lysa. this is what one of the last sentences says: "So if you're feeling brave, let's intentionally open our hearts. Ash the Lord to show us what He wants to speak to us. And then turn the page together."

This turning of the page, this being brave.....i am going to do it but i hesitate wanting to know if the pages that follow will show me, enlighten me, help me. This next chapter "What's it like to do life with me?", in Lysa's words is like this: "I've got blind spots. And the people who live in close proximity to me are probably more aware of them then i am."  no truer words.

These words are HARD, Lord show me my blind spots, show me were i can do better, be better, love better.

so here goes........i may or may not share how it goes.

regardless, you ALL should read this book.

First Day

It seems like just last year Golden boy was entering 2nd grade and not Little girl is going into 2nd grade

Golden boy into 4th grade

the years are flying by.

I am so lucky to be their mom.

Praying 2017-2018 is a fantastic year.

First day 2016

First day 2015

First and last days 2015-2016

First day 2014

Contemplating

my mom took this picture of Golden Boy the week the she and my dad kept him.

as a baby and into a toddler he was such an active busy guy. aside from the fact that he looked just like my hubby, he seemed to have his personality as well. 

the past few years we have been reconsidering our thoughts on who he is more like. 

a quietness has seemed to embrace him. he seems to think more and enjoy more quiet times.

not that he still isn't a bundle of loud boy but i love these slow quite times with him.

i started to think about it when he crawled into the wagon in our back yard and just sat there.

i glanced out and saw him. i wondered what he was thinking about? what thoughts he was processing? where his brain was?

he glanced over at me though the widow and smiled, i smiled back and waved.

i wish i would have grabbed my camera to get a picture of him but it was so brief, just a quick moment and i am go glad that i at least to to glimpse it.

then there is this tiny one.

she is activity, creativity, busy, thoughtful, smart, daring and at time i see that contemplatives coming out in her too.

she was moving a lot here. the first three pictures that i took of her were blurry but then she stopped, she paused, she thought and i snapped it.

it was perfect.