Friday, January 25, 2008

Question for Moms

baby boy is 6 months old.
it wasn't to long ago that i was able to lay him down in his bed and he was able to fall asleep on his own.
now it's a fight just to get him to go to sleep.
it seems like the only way that he will go to sleep is if i'm holding him.
which i guess is okay but the minute that i put him down he wakes up.
what to do?
is this normal?
will he grow out of it?
today i let him cry for over 30 min and he wasn't giving in.
he wasn't even giving in when i held him.
and he had been feed, changed, played with and all but still he was fighting it.
he basically fought it until it was time to feed him again and then he feel asleep eating (he did finish his bottle) and then when i put him down he woke up.
i'm not sure if all of my rambling makes sense so i will just leave it at that and hope that i have some suggestions to follow.
am i putting to many expectations on my son like my hubby is saying that i may be doing?


  1. First of all, you have to do what works for your family no matter what anyone else says. Their sleeping patterns do change (for the good and the bad) but I'm a strong believer in continuing to do what you started and just be patient for the hurdles to pass but be willing to adjust and be flexible if need be. There was a time when E was just a few weeks old that she'd wake up after only 20 minutes. I knew I did not want that so I read that you should just let them be and they will fall back asleep. It was the best thing I ever did and it worked for us. I know it seems like letting them cry for 20 or 30 minutes is eternity and it is heart wrenching. I think I am rambling now but just know that if you feel good with what you do to help him get to sleep than that is fine!!

  2. thanks for the advice. i need to try something. the problem is that i work 3 days a week and it's hard to tell someone else to let him cry for that long for him to go to sleep. so i feel like i am fighting with him the 4 days that i have him and i just want us to have a good time when we have our days together. really i would love not to work but that is whats got to happen right now.

  3. my sanity source was "the secrets of the baby whisperer" by tracy hogg during this stage (take it or leave it, but I loved that book and it fit us as parents) ... it may be that he just is beginning to exercise his will because he's learned that if he cries, you'll come. just a guess. i'm w/karen keep doing what you've started ... yet the best and worst part of having a less than one year old is that they change so much in just a couple weeks. just when you have them figured out, they do/like something different.

  4. Anonymous9:02 AM

    Of course I don't have kids but... my first thought when reading this was exactly what ~C said. He could be exercising his will and if he learns very early on that when he cries, you/any other caregiver comes of course he'll try that to get what he wants. Mom said one of the mistakes they made with me was rocking me to sleep as an infant. After Dad started that, I would not sleep unless rocked. They finally had to let me cry it out a couple times. Just my thoughts. Hope it gets better for you.

  5. thank you guys. it maybe that he had a couple of off days but today he fell asleep twice with just a little fussing. i know that i need to just stand firm and let him cry it out sometimes. thanks for the advice

  6. For some reason I found that 6 months was the "magic" age where both my babies decided that they would fight sleep. Before then they would either go to sleep easily on their own or I could hold/bounce them for a few minutes and they would be out. So I totally understand what you are saying. It seemed like one day Orin decided he didn't want to sleep and did everything he could to resist my "trying". Up until that point I found no reason to ever let them "cry it out" because it was easy to get them to sleep. But at the point when they began to resist I felt my two options were to let them cry-it-out or no nap. And I knew no nap was not a good option. :-) We didn't really love any of the books we read but - as others have said so far - you have to figure out what works for you. We took something from each of the following books and found what worked for us: "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child", "Secret of the Baby Whisperer," and "Babywise." In the end, letting them cry-it-out did the charm. As some books suggested we would go in a certain intervals (5 minutes, then 10 minutes later, than 15minutes later, etc...) We found it only took a few crying-it-out sessions before the baby realized fighting wasn't the thing to do. Of course, they would still fight every once in a while but overall we were all happy. If you do decide to go the "cry" route, you'll be much happier if you find a place in your home where you can't hear the screams. It's so heart wrenching to listen to. I would use our baby monitor (which lights up when there is sound coming from the room). I could look at the light to see if the crying was still occurring or if we had success!

  7. It sounds like you got some great advice, just hang in there!

  8. I agree with what Renee said about going somewhere you can't hear the crying...I remember doing that! We did the interval thing too. Something I read (maybe baby whisperer but I can't remember) was to not start what you don't want to continue. -C's right though, just when you get a routine down they change...growth spurts, etc. can really throw a pinch in things!!!