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it has been over a month since i posted about my sisters breast cancer.

I am so thankful that i was able to be there the night before her surgery and the day of the surgery. 

seeing her the night before and enjoying a yummy shrimp boil and then seeing her after surgery was really good. wrapping my head around it all via phone calls and texts was really difficult. it was good to see her and hug her and know that she was okay and they she would make it through this and did.

she is over two weeks out from the surgery and since then we have found out that she now needs chemo as well.

and not just any chemo but the awful kind. she told me it is called the "red devil"

my heart just broke all over for her and the circumstances of it all.

my best friend sent me a text the day or the day after that i found out asking how my sis was doing?

I was a mess trying to hold it all together and looking into the info she sent me about the chemo and decided to tell her, since she asked.

after texting back and forth she asked me how i was doing?

this was my response:

sad

mad

heart broken

wishing i could be there

do more

feeling guilty

fearful

selfish

there are way too many emotions going through me right now

sometimes its easier to just not think at all

its been a rough week here but i'm sure not nearly as rough as hers

so i can't complain

i just really hate this for her

the emotions are still heavy all around, even when we think things start to settle with them all. i am thankful that my mom is able to be there with her and help with her boys while her hubby has been helping her.
 Here is her post about the next step in this journey:
 

Medical update for anyone who’s following me on this journey. I’m 2 weeks post op & have met with all 3 doctors. As of now my margins are clear & they got it all out! My surgeon & oncologist ordered 2 different tests, oncotype which tests 12 genes & mammaprint which tests 70 genes. My oncotype came back low risk & after surgery we were under the impression that I would not have to go thru chemo. Then the mammaprint came back as high risk, so chemo will help with the risk of return.
I’m having a port placed on 11-8 and then chemo will probably start 11-12. The regiment I will be on is AC-T. AC is a combination of 2 drugs called Adriamycin & Cyclophosphamide (aka the red devil) & T is Taxol. There will be 4 rounds of AC, once every 2 weeks & Taxol which will be once a week for 12 weeks. It will be a long 20 weeks but nothing I can’t handle.
Thank you all for the continued prayers. Thanks Jennifer for my cute mug. #lesleys_breasties #cupofcourage #shebelievedshecouldsoshedid #spiritleadmewheremytrustiswithoutborders

Looking Back September Edition

Beauty in the every day

more cookie making (if you saw last month and all the cookie making then, well you understand)

We took the kids to an aquatic center for Labor day. it was lots of fun in the sun.

The week of Labor day i had off. Our office was closed for vacation. It was a good week to be closed for personal reasons that i will probably share at some point.

I was able to go to breakfast with my sister in law. it was a great time to chat and catch up and enjoy some yummy coffee and fruit bowl

and then after a week of being off there is this

there isn't much more that needs to be said. i think it is understandable.

There is way more that goes on my Instagram account that doesn't always transfer to the blog. here is one of those things. I posted this: We spent so much time deciding the details of the kitchen but a stainless steel farmhouse sink was always a must. My hubby wasn't too crazy about the ss idea for this very reason. Me, I kind of like it. I mean, one day they won't be there or be that little. It's easy to wipe off but for now I will leave those smeared finger prints on there. 

Side note: i haven't regretted the stainless steel choice of sink once.

Last YMCA football game. it was a good one.

They came home with report cards with all As an Bs.

As and Bs aren't something we expect. We want them to do the best they can. I am happy when they are happy with their best.

My mother in law celebrated a milestone birthday this year and for her celebration she wanted all 11 of us to head to Pigeon Forge to celebrate.  

It has been 16 years since my hubby and i have been. we went to Gatlinburg on our Honeymoon and made a visit to Dollywood. I didn't remember a singe thing about it but had a great time.

On September 25th my sister had a double masectomy. I wrote about some of it here. She is doing well and i may write more later but i got to help with the boys while she was in the hospital. my parents were there as well. My sister has taken a picture of her oldest headed into school (public school kindergarten) ever day since school has started so she asked me if i would snap one of his on this day. here he is headed in.

after school that day i got some snuggles with her youngest too. I love them both bunches.

My mom brought me my dance jacket from when I was in dance and Little girl wore it to her last dance practice of the month. She looked adorable. I love that my mom saves special things from my childhood.

Golden boys upward team didn't win his last game of the month but he did score the one and only touch down of the game that day. We still have the month of October to play ball.

We ended the month celebrating niece #2s birthday. It was a time of all girly things. They got their nails done, a facial (cucumbers included), their hair done and make up (complete with all the glitter)

I started quite a few books this month but have only finished a few. Here are the ones that i finished:

Embraced by Lysa Terkeurst

The Mysterious Howling by Maryrose Wood

The Ministry of Ordinary Places by Shanna Martin you can find my blog post and review about it here.

Walking out of the fog

 it's been two weeks since my sister's biopsy results came back and that the diagnosis was a double mastectomy. i believe i walked through a haze for a few days. my hubby was the only one i told.

she texted me wondering how to string words together in a post on Facebook to let others know. she was having multiple people ask the biopsy results.

her words are beautiful and painful and raw. here is what she said about the beginning part of her journey:

Mammogram, Biopsy, Carcinoma, Mastectomy

These are words I never thought I would hear spoken to me from a doctor- especially not at age 35. The last few weeks have been a whirlwind full of appointments, tests, hospital gowns, needles, ice packs, questions, prayers and lots of tears.

This is a brief run down of what’s going on-

August 17: Went for my annual checkup & found a lump in my left breast. A mammogram & ultrasound were scheduled.

August 22: Several nodules were then found.

August 27: Went for a consult with a surgeon. She did another ultrasound to confirm the spots and scheduled a biopsy.

August 29: Biopsy was done

September 4: Got a call with results. She said the preliminary diagnosis is mammary carcinoma, mixed ductal & lobular carcinoma. It’s intermediate & wanted me to have an MRI done that day. I went that afternoon for the MRI which scanned from neck to belly to see if there were any other questionable areas.

September 5: Met with surgeon & was told that estrogen and progesterone receptors were positive. It is currently ductal & the MRI did show a cyst in right breast also. We are still waiting for the rest of biopsy results to come back for HER2 results. We are praying it will be negative!

So after hearing all of this- what now? We discussed several treatment different options but surgery is a must. The plan is for a double mastectomy. Hearing those words makes me cringe but it has to be done. I meet with oncology and plastic surgery next week and will update when I can.

I hope this answers many questions.

Thank you for all for the love, support, texts, calls and prayers. #prayersforHER2- #maybepinkismycolor #fightlikeagirl #lesleys_breasties

Her strength shines through her words. I have always been blessed to call her my sister. I ache for what she feels. I told my best friend that i felt like it was all a bad dream and it wasn't even mine. I have cried more tears then makeup can cover, which means that she has cried even more. I will stand beside her in any way I can and ask that you stand with us in prayer during this time.

Ministry of Ordinary Places

I feel greatly blessed to have been chosen to be part of the launch team for this book. this is the third launch team that i have been part of.

i have followed Shannan on Instagram for a while and i read her first book Falling Free

Here is a little about the book (taken from the books website)

Popular blogger Shannan Martin offers Christians who are longing for a more meaningful life a simple starting point: learn what it is to love and be loved right where God has placed you.

For Christ-followers living in an increasingly complicated world, it can be easy to feel overwhelmed and unsure of how to live a life of intention and meaning. Where do we even begin?

Shannan Martin offers a surprisingly simple answer: uncover the hidden corners of our cities and neighborhoods and invest deeply in the lives of people around us. She walks us through her own discoveries about the vital importance of paying attention, as well as the hard but rewarding truth about showing up and committing for the long haul, despite the inevitable encounters with brokenness and uncertainty. With transparency, humor, heart-tugging storytelling, and more than a little personal confession, Martin shows us that no matter where we live or how much we have, as we learn what it is to be with people as Jesus was, we'll find our very lives. The details will look quiet and ordinary, and the call will both exhaust and exhilarate us. But it will be the most worth-it adventure we will ever take.

I posted a review of the book here on Goodreads.

Here are a few of my favorite quotes from the book.

just know that there was so much more thank what is below.

You can pre-order a copy of the book here.

you can also read the first chapter of the book in the link above.

Blessings

I love seeing Gods hand work in things. 

We sure can meddle and want to control.

There was so many questions with school and 5th grade.

This year was the first year for the 6th graders to move to middle school so there was a lot of shuffling around of teachers in the elementary schools. 

There was so much i wanted to know and questions that i wanted answered. We just had to wait and see. 

When we got his teacher assignment the day of open house, I had no idea who she was. We met her at open house and all seemed okay. 

Then the first few weeks of school went by and more changes happened to the 5th grade.

There were a few changes for Golden boy but his home room class stayed the same. 

After hearing from her and all the other 5th grade teachers on curriculum night I am convinced that he has the best teacher for him. She is his home room and first block teacher, which is reading. She has a love of reading that seems to have rubbed off on my boy.

i love how God works in the details and when we give over that control we tend to have.

Looking Back August Edition

this was the month of cookie making

teeth loosing

fresh starts

new beginnings and adventures

date night with friends

this post on how I finally finished out my coffee station

we took the kids to see Christopher Robin.

I wore my red shirt to show some Winnie support. It wasn't a crop top (sorry, not sorry)

she lost another tooth. this one she pulled all by herself.

new game we bought and sat down to figure out how to play. Ticket to Ride Europe.

More Cookies

popsicles the day before school started.

a new adventure in dance for this one

water park day with a friend while the kids are in school.

first football game of the year.

they are falling out by the handfuls.

cheer camp. a new experience for her. 

started this book and helping with the book launch. I still have not finished it but know that it is wonderful and you should really preorder it here.

work night out with some of the girls from the office and friends.

the week after the cheer camp the girls that attended were able to go to the first football game and do a cheer for before the game.

oh yeah they are still falling out.

Books I read this month:

Stuff I've Been Feeling Lately by Alicia Cook

Book of a Thousand Days by Shannon Hale

Come and Eat by Bri McKoy

Discipline that Connects by Jim and Lynne Jackson

Horseradish by Lemony Snicket